Yesterday, WRFG and the Atlanta Blues Society held their Annual Blues and Barbeque Picnic, and chose Sean as their first honoree. It's always a popular event, and despite clouds and looming rain, the house was packed. The ABS, WRFG and their sponsors did a phenomenal job with professionalism and heartfelt taste. Every detail was well thought out and something of which Sean, as a frequent performer, would have been proud and honored. Glenn and I couldn't believe the attention and respect given to us and our family. One of the most innovative and special gifts they gave to us and the attendees was a compilation CD with many previously unrecorded, some live, tunes. Included as well, is an interview at WRFG when Sean was only 15, and his voice is so young, it can't help but get to you.I was offered the opportunity to speak, and to hear Sean tell the story, that could be a dangerous offer! Even though, in life, Sean was embarrassed of my tales of him, another mother, who has been very successful in her honoring of her late son, told me that I was compelled to speak, if I were to be successful in the mission of the Fund. Speak I did, after being totally humbled by a standing ovation complete with a dozen pink and white roses. Joined on stage by Glenn (looking like a beauty queen with the roses) and Mackinsey and Zach, Sean's niece and nephew, I asked Sean to help me convey my message as well as he did his. Another ovation followed what seemed to be an eternity of hearing my own voice, but as wonderful as that was, so were the personal comments that I received after I escaped the stage. Person after person thanked me for sharing my story and putting a context to Sean's passing that heretofore was not available to them. After the dedication, the amount of financial support and offers to help the Fund multiplied and we ended the day with so much love from people who loved Sean, and a very generous offering to the Fund.We cannot thank the Atlanta Blues Society and WRFG enough for their kindness, nor the musicians who came to honor their friend. I know Sean was there with his trademark smile, proud to be a son of .. :namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn: schemas-microsoft-com: office: smarttags" />Atlanta.To follow are a copy of my notes, complete with highlights I used to remember points I wanted to emphasize, minus humorous anecdotes about Sean (sorry, Sean, I couldn't resist!)"When I was given the opportunity to speak today, I had two fears: that I wouldn't be able to talk without crying, or that, according to Sean, that I wouldn't be able to stop talking….I hope that I can channel Sean and be able to effectively share a message from my heart.First, I want to THANK WRFG AND THE ATLANTA BLUES SOCIETY for such a wonderful tribute to Sean. They went to a lot of trouble and demonstrated a heartfelt love for Sean in compiling a CD that reflects almost 15 years of Sean's music. They are, along with you today, REPRESENTING THE BEST OF THE COMMUNITY THAT SEAN LOVED AND CALLED HOME. I know he's with us today and he's very grateful, humble and proud.SEAN LOVED THE BLUES. It reflected the fiber of his being. He started around age 9 with Guns n Roses, and progressed to Jimmy Hendrix. I don't think we could have listened to another "Hey Joe." But, around age 13, he met a wonderful bluesman, FELIX REYES, and the rest is history.YOU know Sean as this gifted musician with an incredible energy on stage. You could literally witness his transformation as he seemed to channel his music from another world, or directly from his soul. What you witnessed was a part of his essence, his artistic expression of a soul that was sensitive, intelligent, and very unsettled. His stage persona was all the more mesmerizing because off stage he was so unassuming. YOU loved the musician. I love and knew the person who was destined to play music.Sean was born an OLD SOUL as they say. Always bright and incredibly witty, he just seemed to see and feel emotions more than his peers [STORY OF SCHOOL TRIP] He aced tests while hating math, losing most of his homework, having the sloppiest desk and book bag in the class, and missing his share of school while he was often sick, needing to stay home just to regroup, and often because he felt he didn't fit in.Empirically, this self doubt made no sense. Neighbors would tell me he was popular in school. Kids of all ages would knock for him to come out to play with them. He would invent the scenario of the day: sometimes it might be Viet Nam (in full camouflage), other times, the Renaissance – and who knows what else – but always creative, always his mood/idea. He was cast in every play, from MLK in the 3rd grade, to a believable Ted Koppel in the 8th. Teachers loved him and he seemed to excel. He was sweet, well behaved and smart,AT HOME, THOUGH, THERE WAS A DIFFERENT SEAN: easily frustrated, unable to sit to do homework or eat dinner, liking to be alone and often "blue." This is the side he shared with me and I worried for him. The guitar was his constant companion, but so was insecurity, frequent illness and a lack of self-esteem.On the other hand, HE WAS THE FAMILY ENTERTAINER, whether it was a Michael Jackson impersonation, a French accent, or just plain silliness, when Sean laughed, the world laughed. He was hysterical, as many of you know.He loved his grandparents who were part of his daily life for years, especially my Dad, whom he resembled more than any other grandchild did in looks and personality. His picture stood on Sean's mantle right next to BB King's. He demonstrated a respect and compassion for his elders for his entire life. He adored his sisters. Whatever mood he was in, if Allison or Bridget walked into the room, his face would light up. His love for, and need for love from others was that genuine.By the end of grade school, though, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep him in high school, so I searched for a school for right brained kids…the closest thing I could find was a Jazz band at what was then Northside HS, now North Atlanta, the performing arts school of Atlanta. Here, he wasn't so different, and with the mentorship of Reggie Colbert, he thrived – the Louis Armstrong award, Seventeen Magazine, "Best Dressed" (too shy to get his picture taken). Here too, he excelled academically keeping up college prep and AP courses while maintaining a grueling schedule of weekend gigs in Memphis. He loved History and English. He became fluent in Spanish, skipping Spanish 2 going directly to 3 because his teacher thought his family was bilingual! I later found out, in Sean fashion, that he would take his Mexican friends to job interviews in his 64 Falcon and act as translator.All during this time, from around age 12, I took Sean to counselors to help him with what I thought were depression and a genetic predisposition for alcohol dependency. He always came away with the same diagnosis: he's wonderful, nice, bright, talented and self-aware. I came away looking neurotic and making Sean more and more uncomfortable with my fears.I have been asked many times what it was like to have Sean, the prodigy, as a son. I could never truthfully answer because my response would have been too revealing and difficult to believe. I worried day and night, I worried and tried to help him find his way.Recently, articles have been written about Sean's death but they cannot ever capture the beauty and complexity of his life. They mention bipolar disorder, but don't explain its dangers and how it contributed to Sean's passing.BIPOLAR DISORDER SIMPLY MEANS THAT A PERSON HAS BOUTS WITH BOTH DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, BUT THEY LITERALLY GET STUCK IN THEM, CALLED "CYCLING." People with Bipolar Disorder walk and talk like you and me. In fact, a percentage of us and/or our children have it whether we know it or not, an even larger percentage because of the number of musicians and artistic people represented here, and maybe even because we are drawn to the music called "Blues."IT TAKES, ON THE AVERAGE, 10 years and 7 psychiatrists before a person is accurately diagnosed. For Sean, it was about 15 years! It is frequently associated with creative genius like Mozart and Beethoven, Van Gogh, and Sean. (MoJo magazine called him an under recognized guitar genius.) During the span between onset and diagnosis, the mood swings, anxiety, inability, to sleep, propensity for risky behavior, take their toll and to survive, people self-medicate. The incidence of drug and alcohol abuse in this population is alarmingly high. Add to this equation, the life of a musician where the bar tab is part of the compensation plan the problem is exacerbated. When someone is horribly shy, has panic attacks, hasn't slept well for days or even weeks, but needs to perform, the temptation to feel well enough to go on stage, to make a successful living, is overwhelming.Sean took his craft seriously. He studied and became a music scholar who earned the respect of the likes of James Cotton, Hubert Sumlin, Jodie Williams, Levon Helm and the friendship of the Grammy award winning producer of the likes of the Rolling Stones and Coldplay, Steve Rosenthal. Despite this recognition, it was never about him. He paid his band members more than he could afford in order to help them. He always saw their situation as needier than his. He mourned each one of them when they needed to leave the band and remained friends with each of them. The days leading up to his passing were fraught with emotional disappointment, medical complications, and an overriding fear that this CD, too, wouldn't be enough to afford him the life of an independent adult. He never took our help for granted and wanted to be able to stand alone.Most of you know none of this because Sean was professional and responsible at all times. I was always proud of his emotional courage. He wouldn't want his legacy to be tabloid exploitations of a mistake he made in private. He would want it to be his music and his love of life.I am asking you to remember his music, but I am asking more than that. I am asking for support for the Fund started in his name, sot that NOT ONE OTHER INNOCENT, WONDERFUL GIFTED person's life be cut so short. This disease is deadly, with an alarming rate of early death due to suicide or accidental overdose…just to stop feeling, just for a second. [Note: Sean's death has been ruled accidental as anyone who loved Sean already knew. ]Recent reviews lament that sean was the messenger that could have taken the blues to a place of mass appeal and appreciation. That was his goal – his life journey. He never got a chance to complete this dream. That and to be normal, with a home and a family. That was my dream for him. [Ray Hangen, his former drummer recently told me that Sean would say: "My Mom knows what I want." ]If you love Sean's music, or any music for that matter, I ask that you take our mission seriously. Musicians often don't have health insurance and have a difficult life just to be able to express what is in their nature to do. They give us a great gift, even while people pirate their work and begrudge tips or covers. Where else can you get someone's work for free and take it with you wherever you go to make you feel better? If you want to avenge Sean's unnecessary early leave from us, as I do, I ask you to be generous and creative in your support, as well as kind and understanding of others who suffer in silence as he did. It would be what Sean would do for you and did do for others.Thank you for being here today and for all that you have done for Sean, me and my family and again, THANK YOU TO WRFG AND THE ATLANTA BLUES SOCIETY. Sean's light keeps on shining in my mind, day and night, it just keeps shining all the time…"